Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Crystal and the Rock

Owning a winery during tourist season (or frankly any season) doesn’t leave much room for personal time.

We make hay while the sun shines, scheduling back-to-back events, pouring our wines at festivals and working the market.

So it wasn’t surprising the last couple of months my husband and I seemed like ships passing in the night. We’ve all been there, priorities get skewed and we feel that “distance” welling up between us along with the people we care for and love.

By now, you probably know me well… Focus, Focus, Focus. Got to get the job done before I relax. Then when I relax I’m too tired to talk or even eat. Just want to crawl into my “space” and be alone.

Knew when Ralph wasn’t hugging like before that I’d crossed the line and needed to get back in touch. So off we went for our favorite walk on the Dungeness Spit where I’m always looking for white rocks. We didn’t walk very far this time. Just found a sheltered space amongst the humongous logs and just let the sun warm us and our spirits.

On the way back I squealed loudly, jumping up and down. I’d found a heart shaped rock! It was a sign and you know I’m a big believer.

As I turned it over it had a dent in it and I remember thinking that I’d lay that side down.

Well, when I got home, I picked up the Baccarat crystal heart that I bought for Ralph years ago for Christmas or an anniversary (don’t remember) which he keeps on his desk.

I laid it beside my beach rock and just stood there thinking.

Wow. I’d always thought the crystal heart was so perfect but now it seemed somehow fake and unreal lying beside my rough and battered heart-shaped beach rock.

My heart rock had survived crashing waves and summer days. It’s pitted all over and has that dent but it’s withstood the hands of time. It’s the real deal. And that’s what had me thinking.

Relationships and marriage can be as fragile as crystal... or as hard and enduring as that rock. You have to work at it and not take them for granted. Another wake up call for me.

So tonight I’m going to cook dinner for Ralph and pour him a glass of his favorite wine (he’s always loved the Dungeness Red Lemberger). I can’t do anything more special to show that I care than try to cook (sometimes pouring a second glass really helps too, especially with my cooking)!

Update: I wrote this Saturday afternoon. It’s now Wednesday afternoon... and life just feels good. Plus, we’re going out to eat tonight, Yea… cooking was real pressure but worth it.



Nancy Mowry said...

When my daughter was a toddler, she began calling anything heart-shaped a "heart sweet". To this day, when we come across anything that's shape reminds us of a heart, we take a picture and send it to each other or, like the rock you found, pick it up and give it to the other. Its our special way of reminding each other that we are loved. She's 28 years old now and expecting her first child and I know this "tradition" will continue for generations to come.

MrsDan said...

Ooooo breakin the rules! I'm pretty sure I have a picture of that exact rock! I thought for sure they'd see the heart shaped lump in my pocket as I left the park so I had to leave it behind..... Good to know it has a loving home! :)