This had my jaw dropping. I’ve read a lot of wine reviews and tasting notes but got to admit this was a first.
I’ve even got over the disgusting use of on how cat-pee aromas in wine are good, yet horse manure bad? Wet slate is in, wet dog is out? Sweat is positive, but dirty gym socks are not?
But, A Bony Ass Wine. Now where did that come from?
Of course, I Googled it. The 1988 movie, Working Girl memorable quotes, had about equal the number of hits as “some kind of xx-sites”. But no references to wine anywhere.
Got me thinking… what does that phrase conjure up? A few words immediately popped into my head (all non-gender specific). Thin, flabby, flat, sharp, OK… and sort of bony.
Then I thought of wine in those terms and I got it. Wow, this may become my favorite expression to describe a red wine I don’t like.
So back to Google and the eParker.com glossary of wine terms.
And, eureka… I found the words that perfectly sum up this very descriptive and a bit outrageous wine term, A Bony Ass Wine. Maybe Robert Parker will add it to his list!
Angular: Angular wines are wines that lack roundness, generosity, and depth. Wine from poor vintages or wines that are too acidic are often described as being angular.
Flabby - A wine without enough structure, particularly acid and tannin, to stand up to its other components can be described as flabby. It feels flat and without intensity and can even seem syrupy.
Lean: Lean wines are slim, rather streamlined wines that lack generosity and fatness.
Sharp: An undesirable trait, sharp wines are bitter and unpleasant with hard, pointed edges
Thin Bodied (Opposite of full bodied; Fills the mouth, has a winey taste, alcohol is present, the wine has "weight on the tongue".
Now, what is the opposite of A Bony Ass Wine? Hmm… I’m not going there. But I can describe what makes a good red wine for me. Good Structure, full bodied, not overly fat but with could fleshy notes, round, mature, big, with depth.
Round: A very desirable character of wines, roundness occurs in fully mature wines that have lost their youthful, astringent tannins, and also in young wines that have soft tannins and low acidity.
Fat: Full bodied, juicy, rich. Opposite of lean. A super sort of maturity after a hot summer, are often quite rich and concentrated, with low to average acidity. Often such wines are said to be fat, which is a prized commodity. If they become too fat, that is a flaw and they are then called flabby.
Fleshy: Fleshy is a synonym for chewy, meaty, or beefy. It denotes that the wine has a lot of body, alcohol and extraction
Body: Body is the weight and fullness of a wine that can be sensed as it crosses the palate. Full-bodied wines tend to have a lot of alcohol, concentration, and glycerin.
Big: A big wine is a large-framed, full-bodied wine with an intense and concentrated feel on the palate.
Structure: The structure of a wine is those components which tend to support the body of the wine, holding it together, giving it lift and intensity. Acid, tannin and alcohol can all be said to be parts of a wine's structure and balance is the goal.